


the moment I let go of it was the moment I got more than I could handle

by cinderlily



Series: I'll be yours to keep [3]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Baby Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 15:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6615640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderlily/pseuds/cinderlily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To be fair to both of them, they’d gotten the phone call something like 8 hours before they were seated in front of a tiny human life with the weight of naming it in front of them. Well, not it, <i>him</i>. The tiny human that was their son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the moment I let go of it was the moment I got more than I could handle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sly_fck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sly_fck/gifts), [freetodream5](https://archiveofourown.org/users/freetodream5/gifts), [LuciFern](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciFern/gifts).
  * Inspired by [I can see you dream](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6554068) by [cinderlily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderlily/pseuds/cinderlily). 



To be fair to both of them, they’d gotten the phone call something like 8 hours before they were seated in front of a tiny human life with the weight of naming it in front of them. Well, not it, _him_. The tiny human that was their son. 

The thought had been out there for a grueling two years, three different agencies and two false starts. They’d talked about it enough to know that they would go with Seguin-Benn for both rhythm reasons and the fact that no child should have B.S. in their initials. They weren’t cruel. 

But the idea of coming up with a name was so permanent and after the first false start it had been too much to actually go with it. They’d half-decided on naming for their mothers had it been a girl. (Plus Jacklynn Heather Seguin-Benn had a ring to it. Randolph Paul Seguin-Benn did not. Also, sounded like they were naming for themselves.) 

That didn’t really work out when they were staring down at a sleeping (thankfully) dark haired boy that apparently was going home with them. Like. For reals. 

There had already been crying on both of their behalves. Then on the baby’s. Then back to them. Then a series of phone calls that went down a list. Both moms were on their way which Jamie had initially been annoyed by but rapidly was becoming less and less as the reality of the fact that the baby was being released into their care in the matter of hours settled in. 

“Jonathan?” Jamie hazarded, desperately grabbing at any names that came to mind. 

Tyler frowned. “Toews, Gaudreau, Quick, Oduya.” 

“Blake?” 

“ _B.S.B._?” 

Jamie quirked his eyebrow. “What’s so wrong with that?” 

“You were such a fucking nerd, weren’t you?” 

With a furtive glance down at the baby he looked back at Tyler and glared. “Dude. Baby.” 

“Who is asleep and won’t understand words for like 7 months, Jamie. I read the books. Jeez, you’re worse than your brother.” 

“You taught Nicky the word ‘shit’,” Jamie pointed out. “At 15 months.” 

Tyler shrugged. “Actually I taught him sheiße, which is _German_ for shit, so I was BUILDING his language skills. Learning more than one language is good for kids.” 

“You try that on our son and I will kick the sheiße out of you,” Jamie frowned but Tyler did that weird beaming grin that had almost been plastered to his face for the past 8 hours. “What?” 

“This is our son,” he said, slowly. “ _Our_ son.” 

Okay. So maybe the tears weren’t done for the evening. Jamie smiled through the tears though, because fuck. It was a long battle to get to this place and he wasn’t going to let himself feel self conscious in front of anyone, let alone his freaking husband and son. In front of his _family_. 

“What about Jet?” 

He rubbed at his face, the snort he let out a little wet. “JET? You’re kidding… right?” 

Tyler obviously wasn’t, as he bristled. “Jet is a cool name. Plus it keeps with the freaky J think with your family.” 

“It’s also a name of an opposing team. Do you want to name him King?” 

Tyler’s eyes went wide for a second. “King Seguin-Benn.” 

“No.” 

“Obviously we know who is going to be the cool parent here,” Tyler snuffed. 

The baby moved a little in the Moses basket in front of them. Jamie went stock still, a little afraid that the siren hyena alarm would start again in a moment. A moment later the baby opened one eye and peered blearily up at the both of them. 

Tyler moved fast; standing, putting his hand under the baby’s head and picking him up. He’d been doing it so often it was kind of ridiculous he ever put him back down. Jamie had held him. Once. For a while. But that was when he was crying so he was good for now. 

“Hey duder,” Tyler whispered down. “Whatcha doing? Hungry again? Wet?” 

The baby let out a weird noise that wasn’t a cry or even an annoyed sigh (which they’d heard when he fell asleep the first time for them) but just a noise. 

“Is that so? Well, cool. You can hang with me and your dad for a while. We’re figuring out your name, so any suggestions are totally welcome.” 

Tyler would most definitely kick his ass if he said the word ‘sweet’ or ‘cute’ but fuck if those weren’t the only ones that came to mind. That and an overwhelming feeling of love that he hadn’t actually thought possible. He’d loved Tyler an embarrassingly long time, longer than they’d been married or even dating. He’d loved him since he’d known him only a few weeks. But that? That was nothing. 

“Here you go,” Tyler said as he handed the baby to Jamie in a few gently movements. Jamie made a grunt, which the baby (God he needed a name) didn’t agree with him on and got a grunt back. “See, he’s already yours.” 

“Ty, you should take him,” Jamie said, his body rigid and the baby rooting around. “I’m not…” 

Tyler stepped back and landed on the hospital bed that was a few feet away. “Your turn, Dad.” 

Jamie looked down and stared. He’d been looking at the baby for the better part of an hour, but the truth of the matter was he hadn’t really seen him that well. His skin was tan and his hair was so thick he was pretty amazed by it. Nicky had had blonde hair and looked pretty bald for a good chunk of his first year, this was… this was Patrick Sharp levels of style. 

“Patrick?” he half-joked. 

“Hell to the no,” Tyler shuddered. “Like that guy needs any more ego… Wait, which one are we talking about?” 

Jamie smiled. “The one with the hair.” 

Tyler chuckled. “Well, it still stands.” 

“Stanley?” 

“I swear to God Benn, I’m gonna ask for a divorce.” 

There was a light rapping at the door and a nurse walked popped her head in. “How’s it going in here, Dads?” 

Even though they’d been saying it back and forth to each other for the better part of the day he still got a thrill at someone else calling him it. 

“Good,” Tyler answered for them. 

“Well, good then,” the nurse, an older redhead with a friendly smile walked in. “How’s the paper work coming along?” 

Jamie stared over at the almost entirely filled out paperwork except for the one thing that really mattered. “Uh, it’s coming?” 

“Playing the name game?” she said, looking over the sheet with a smile. “My husband and I did that with each of ours. It never got easier. Even after four.” 

He didn’t choke on his spit, but it was a near miss. “Four?” 

“Well, five. The last were twins,” she grinned. “But they’re all out of the house now.” 

“How did you name five humans?” Jamie said, his voice in complete awe. 

She laughed. “Ah, honey. The naming bit is the easy part. It’s the raising thing that gets ya. But thankfully that comes one day at a time.” 

Tyler let out a weird laugh that Jamie silently agreed with. That was something he was putting off thinking about. He wasn’t really willing to think that he was going to have to do the whole, _raising_ bit. 

“You boys are lucky he came in June. A few months to get it under your belt before the season starts,” she said, calmly. They’d half thought they’d _gotten lucky_ with no one knowing who they were but whatever. “You guys should be ready to go in about an hour. Try thinking of what goes with yelling out at the rink, god knows you’ll be doing it a lot.”

With a wink she left and they were back to where they started with. Nothing. 

Tyler picked up the paperwork again and shuffled through it. 

“Dallas?” 

Jamie didn’t even dignify it with an answer. 

There was another knock on the door, this one a lot more tentative than the last. Tyler, who was standing, walked to the door and opened it. A women, more like a girl, stood there wearing baggy sweatpants and an oversized UT hoodie. Jamie immediately knew who she was. 

“Can I come in?” 

Jamie’s first instinct was to say no and he could tell it was Tyler’s as well. They still had time for her to take him back and the idea, even only after knowing about him for 8 hours, was painful to the point of tears. But he gave Tyler a small nod and Tyler opened the door wider.

“Sure,” Tyler said, his voice a little tight. 

She shuffled more than walked in and stopped when she saw the baby. 

“He’s so little,” she exhaled and then let out a breathy laugh. “He felt a lot bigger on the inside.” 

Tyler laughed but Jamie couldn’t bring himself to do so. She shuffled a little closer and took the seat that Tyler had left a little while before. She didn’t reach out to touch him and he was thankful. He didn’t know what he’d do if she asked to hold him. 

“He has my dad’s hair,” she said, a small smile. “Sorry about that. You guys are going to spend half his life taming those curls.” 

A little bit of his chest relaxed. “That’s okay, Tyler likes to groom.” 

“ _I'm the one that likes to groom?_ ” Tyler chortled. “Yeah, Jamie, keep up with that dream.” 

Like the grown up father he was, he stuck his tongue out at his husband. Tyler winked at him and blew a kiss. 

“You guys are cute.” She said, her voice wavering slightly. 

Jamie blushed. “Thanks?” 

“I’m glad, you know, that you guys can be the parents he deserves. I’m not able to take care of my own life, you know? I’m 21. I burnt rice krispie treats a few weeks ago.” 

Tyler barely covered a laugh with a cough. “Uh, yeah. We get it. I wasn’t exactly the best at taking care of myself at 21 either.” 

“Just. Could you do me a favor?” 

Jamie looked at her sincerely. “Of course.” 

Out of the pocket of her hoody she pulled a pretty poorly knit blanket. She handed it to him and without looking him in the eye said, “Tell him he was loved, every second. He isn’t a regret, he never ever will be.” 

Jamie nodded, because maybe he was cool with showing his emotion but crying in front of a teary eyed 21 year old was not something he was willing to do yet. 

She leaned over, wincing once or twice and brushed a soft kiss on the baby’s forehead. “Love you, little man.” 

When it seemed like she meant to get up, Tyler offered his hands as she moved awkwardly out of the seat. 

“Wait— What’s your name?” 

She looked at him oddly. He probably could just check the birth certificate. “Ashley but most people call me Ash.”

“I don’t think thank you is the right way to say it, but thank you, Ash.”

Tyler helped her out the door. 

There was a heavy silence in the room, the both of them looking at each other and then at the baby in turn. 

An hour later Asher Dallas Seguin-Benn went home with two very freaked out parents and a lumpy green knit blanket clutched in one hand.

**Author's Note:**

> I have four WIP right now and I told myself that I wasn't going to write anything until I finished them. Well, I lied. At least this came out fairly painlessly and in one go. Though um... It'll probably be a little bit of a verse, why am I going to lie? 
> 
> Thanks to sly_fck, freetodream5, and Lucifern for not laughing in my face when I sent them this after saying the day before, "I'm not writing the baby thing until AFTER I finish X, Y, and Z." 
> 
> Title from "Thank U" by Alanis Morissette.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [gimme shelter or show me heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6854383) by [cinderlily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderlily/pseuds/cinderlily)




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